LAUGHTER SHOULD BECOME PART OF SADHANA

I. Paddy was feeling under the weather, so he went to see his doctor. "I just can't find any cause for your illness," said the physician. "Frankly, I think it is due to drinking."

"In that case," replied Paddy, getting up to leave, "I will come back when you are sober!"

II. An unshaven, dirty, bedraggled panhandler, with bloodshot eyes and teeth half gone, asks Paddy for a dime.

"Do you drink, smoke, or gamble?" asks Paddy.
"Mister," says the bum, "I don't touch a drop, or smoke the filthy weed, or bother with evil gambling."

"Okay," says Paddy, "if you will come home with me I will give you a dollar."
As they enter the house, Maureen takes Paddy aside and hisses, "How dare you bring that terrible looking specimen into our home!?"

"Darling," says Paddy, "I just wanted you to see what a man looks like who doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, and doesn't gamble."

III. "Our great athlete, Ivan Ivanovitch," says the Russian radio announcer, "has just smashed all existing records for the two-hundred-yard dash, the high jump, the long jump, the mile run, the five-mile run, and the marathon. He overcame a blizzard, a range of mountains and complete lack of water. Unfortunately, our great athlete's performance was in vain. He was captured and brought back to Russia!"

IV. Muffin Snuffler, the White House cleaner, is polishing the floor in the Oval Office one day, when he looks up at George Washington's portrait and sees the lips moving.

Shocked and a little frightened, Muffin edges closer to the portrait and listens to America's hero speak.

"Bring me a horse!" commands Washington. "I am going to put this country in order!"

Muffin races out of the office and bumps straight into President George Bush. "Mister President, sir," he screams, "George Washington's portrait just spoke to me!"

"Don't be an idiot!" snaps Bush. "Pictures don't talk!" And he walks into the Oval Office and over to the painting. But before he reaches it, George Washington speaks again, "Hey, Muffin!" shouts Washington, "I told you to bring me a horse -- not a donkey!"

V. A Bible-bashing Baptist is preaching to a Texas businessman, who doubts the miracle of divine punishment.

"Let me tell you," says the preacher, "about a remarkable occurrence. On the TV news last night there was a story about a politician who was struck by lightning while he was telling a lie. A miraculous incident, was it not?"

"Well, I don't know," drawls the Texan. "It would be more of a miracle if lightning struck a politician when he wasn't lying."

VI. "Boys," said Father O'Flanagan to his bible class, "you should never lose your tempers. You should never swear, or get excited or angry. I never do. Now to illustrate -- you see that big fly on my nose? A good many wicked men would get angry at that fly, but I don't. I never lose my temper. I simply say, `Go away, fly, go away.' And then suddenly he jumped and said,"JESUS CHRIST! It's a bee, the son of a bitch!"

VII.  "I locked my husband out of the house last week for playing around with other women," sobs young Mrs. Bedspring in the confession box. "And now he wants me to take him back. What should I do, Father?"

"You must take him back," replies Father Fungus, patting her hand through the curtain. "It is your Christian duty. But first," Fungus continues, tightening his grip, "how would you like to get even with the bastard!"

OSHO

LAUGHING BUDDHA

In Japan, a great mystic, Hotei, is called the laughing Buddha. He is one of the most loved mystics in Japan, and he never uttered a single word. As he became enlightened, he started laughing, and whenever somebody would ask, Why are you laughing? he would laugh more. And he would move from village to village, laughing.

A crowd will gather and he will laugh. And slowly -- his laughter was very infectious -- somebody in the crowd will start laughing, then somebody else, and then the whole crowd is laughing -- laughing because.... Why are they laughing? Everybody knows, "It is ridiculous; this man is strange, but why are we laughing?"

But everybody was laughing; and everybody was a little worried, "What will people think? There is no reason to laugh." But people would wait for Hotei, because they had never laughed in their whole life with such totality, with such intensity that after the laughter they found their every sense had become more clear. Their eyes could see better, their whole being had become light, as if a great burden had disappeared.

People would ask Hotei, "Come back again," and he would move, laughing, to another village. His whole life, for near about forty-five years after his enlightenment, he did only one thing and that was laughing. That was his message, his gospel, his scripture.

And it is to be noted that in Japan, nobody has been remembered with such respect as Hotei. You will find in every house, statues of Hotei. And he had done nothing except laugh; but the laughter was coming from such depth that it stayed with anyone who heard it and triggered his being, created a synchronicity.

Hotei is unique. In the whole world there is no other human being who has made so many people laugh -- for no reason at all. And yet, everybody was nourished by the laughter, and everybody was cleansed by the laughter, felt a well-being that he had never felt. Something from the unknowable depth started ringing bells in peoples' hearts.

Kavisho, if you can go without looking back at all, passing through the unknown into the unknowable, where everything will be lost -- questions, answers, me and you -- all that remains is pure existence, infinite and eternal. And I am saying it because it is possible. You have come a long way with me.
Thousands of people have come with me, and somebody drops out after a mile, somebody drops out after the second mile; I don't complain about them, I just feel sorry for them. They were not courageous enough. There came a point where they stopped.

But you have been like many of my sannyasins -- going without any fear, risking everything. There is every possibility that you will be one of those very few fortunate ones who attain to the ultimate truth.

Before you come to the laughter of Hotei, start laughing more and more deeply, more and more madly. This joke is just for you, Kavisho:

A young couple have been trying for ages to have a baby, but with no success. Finally they decided to go to the doctor with the problem. After a detailed interview he suggests that maybe they should not make love every day, to avoid love becoming a routine. They should make love only spontaneously. Not as if they have to do it, but only when they are possessed by it.

"You have to find the right, spontaneous moment," the doctor says, "when you feel the moment is right, do it." A few months later, sure enough, the woman is back and the doctor confirms her pregnancy. "May I enquire if my advice was of any help?" "Oh, doc," she says, "it was terrific. We were having a romantic candlelight dinner with french wine and soft music, and suddenly our hands met. We were looking deep into each others eyes and we both knew, `this is it!' We simply threw off the tablecloth and made love right on the table."

"Amazing," says the doctor. "Yes, it was great," she says, "the only sad thing about it is, that we can never go to that restaurant again."


OSHO